True Story

Sunday morning, there are fresh bed sheets on the master bed. My brother and i would roll around the bed creating as many wrinkles as possible until it was time for church. We would all put on our clothes and make our way towards the street facing my current bedroom. The traffic director would blow his whistle and at the sound of that silvery note everyone would make their way across the street.

There are giant doors in the giant lobby that leads us out into the icy crisp weather. We are in New Jersey or New York. There is people inside seeking expensive refuge from the snow that's pressing down upon the city. My cousin and i are bundled up and it is getting warm. I beg for my parents to let me take off my jacket.

The great tree outside balboa park is wet after the pouring rain. I am carrying my great instrument as i peer into an isle full of colorful floor tiles. As i sit with the cello on my lap i peer out and gaze at the towering lamppost and breathe in the fresh air.

Bible study is over and the twins are yelling instructions for another game of hide and seek. I dash up into my room and make a grab at the bag of sunchips lying on my bed. Crumbs spill when my hand gives and involuntary twitch and the moonlight from my open window streams across my flower patterned bed. The window is open and summer is nearing an end. The air has a touch of edgy attitude.

School is almost over and the blinding sun bounces off the pale and glossy concrete. Everyone is clad in shorts and t-shirts anticipating the season filled with sunshine, ocean, and watermelon. Freedom lingers and creates a tension free atmosphere.

...

Arizona
Colorado
Home
Music
Rain
Harry Potter

THE FUUUUU????

mood: stupid, dumb, idiotic, deflated, punctured, mold on an athlete's foot

When i fail at something, i think i do a pretty good job of looking up and moving on with my life. I tell myself again and again, just don't be stupid next time.

I guess this is just not one of those days...

Crisis

Mood: poor

phoenix: 1901
telepopmusik: breathe
bittersweet: bittersweet faith

blair waldorf
macarons

alexander mcqueen
vera wang
marc jacobs

FIDM

Uggs

It's that time again.....the time to bust out the ugg boots!

ugg boots aside...today is going to be a horrendous day

Those Little Buggers

At the beginning of our tutoring session today, 5 minutes into doing his homework, Chris suddenly sniffs loudly into his hand. He gives me his infamous look with his upper lip pulled back barring his teeth and his eyebrows slanting vertically in to form a scrunch in his nose and continues to sniff away at his hands. I give him a perturbed look as he procedes to lift up his feet with his hands. What happened next occurred so fast that i don't even know what hit me first: the putrid smell, or the act of him taking a huge whiff of his feet. Yes....yes he did. Chris had lifted up his feet to smell it and the stench was so strong that i almost fainted. And of course, this 12 year old little boy thinks its the funniest thing in the world. I yelled at him as he cackled away maniacally and then i told him to get back to work. The next thing i knew, he was smearing his grubby little hands on my jacket. The hairs on the back of my neck rose and i feel like he had left a trail of mushroom fungus in the wake of his nasty feet smelly moldy hands.

Needless to say, i nearly suffocated at then end of the session.

About half way through the lesson, Chris asks me: "DO you fart?" I replied with "Why on earth do you want to know?" and without even batting an eyelid he said "its educational." So i told him that girls don't fart. But sometimes, they release a refreshing scent when they feel that others around them smell bad. He didn't believe me of course but if he did he would've deserved it. 5 minutes later he farted on me.

What a Bitch

Mood: alone

Sometimes, a inexplicable feeling unsuspectingly creeps over me. It happened today when i was at a barbecue with my friends and Darius. Then, it happened again when i got back to my apartment with Darius. And yet again it happened when i called Darius after a while of waiting.

And what feeling is this?

Lonliness.

Or more accurately the feeling of being alone. For yes, there is a big difference between feeling lonely and feeling alone. Feeling lonely is nostalgic, something an elderly person would experience. It is bitter and sweet at the same time. But feeling alone is crude and mean. It eats away and clings onto any chance of hope and happiness. It's also a selfish bitch because it'll slap you in the face at the most inopportune moments.

This is what I've been feeling recently. Even amidst all my friends and all the people i love, i can't help feeling that weird gnawing at the edge of my mind.

Maybe the end of a nice weekend spurred these feelings or maybe the departure of Darius did. But whatever it is, I'm waiting for the day i can bitch slap this feeling right back to the shittiest armpit hole it came from.