Explorations

Visit the Getty
Try one new vegan place: Vegan Glory
Try two new food places: Mio Babbo, Hurry Curry
Try two new Dessert places: Beard Papa, Spoon by H

Last week I adventured out with Darius to accomplish some of my goals.  I'd say we made a pretty hefty dent in my list.  But there is much more to go.

Getty: This is cheating kind of. There was a college night at the Getty and I went with my roommate. I say it was somewhat cheating because like the Hammer, I had already signed up and intended to go.  But actually, the night of Getty, I was seriously contemplating not going just because I was tired and not feeling it. WOW. I sound like my students. What a sorry excuse...but in the end I'm glad I pulled myself together and went. It was awesome and totally worth it. Note: go to the Getty at night...it's infinitely cooler.

Mio Babbo: Little Italian restaurant down the street in Westwood from where I live. It was a little pricey but the chicken in my Salad and in D's pasta was out of this world!! A+++ for just the chicken! It's a perfect and cute little place for a date. I will definitely be coming back here.  Bonus: You get to keep the little glass cup that they serve the gelato in.

Vegan Glory: Slightly above average Asian fusion vegan joint on Beverly. The portions were perfect for me and Darius to feel comfortable but not exploding.  We had room for dessert also. which brings me toooo....

Spoon by H: Had shaved ice which was...NOT worth it! It was way too sweet and I was freezing (which is not their fault but adds to the idea that this place and I were not meant to be).  I prefer Blockheads shaved snow all day everyday (one of my regulars with D).

Hurry Curry: Average Japanese Curry place on Sawtelle. nbd.

Beard Papa: CUSTOM CREAM PUFFS!!!! Why have I never heard of this place before?? Apparently it's a chain and there's one in Irvine too! What happens is you pick a shell that you want (the outer part of the cream puff) and then a filling. Then you can watch them PUMP the filling INTO the shell.  BOOM mind explosion.  It was so cute! and delicious of course.

More to come!! Planning to attend ucla artsy things soon!

Baby Steps

Mood: lost
Visit hammer museum again

Accomplished one goal on my list this week! The Hammer put on a little event for UCLA students this past tuesday and I went with my roommate not knowing what to expect.  The moment we walked in, my roommate and I spotted a DIY tile crafting station.  There we spent the majority of two hours gluing magazine clippings to an approximately 6X6in tile.  It was amazingly therapeutic and held my focus and attention for quite a long time.  I then had a chicken and waffle out of a food truck and we ended the night with a somber stroll home. Back to the real world...

The truth is, life did not become easier after PACT.  I'm finding myself increasingly anxious over job prospects. Every moment I'm not spending working on revising my resume or composing another cover letter or researching school missions and visions, is considered wasted.  In my head I keep thinking of the goals I had made for myself this quarter and now they almost seem like a chore.  There are so many moving pieces in my schedule that I can hardly remember what's going on when.  My body and brain feel like exploding every day.

Sometimes I wonder where I would be in my life had a chosen a different career path.  Where would I be? What would I have done? It wasn't until my second year at UCI when I committed my future to teaching (and in particular teaching disadvantaged urban youth.). But before then I've seriously considered the following options:

-Journalism
-Interior design
-Architect
-Fashion Directing

Interesting right? I haven't stopped thinking about them either which may explain my tastes on pinterest (har har).

I don't know, even though it's hard, I don't think I could have stayed away from teaching.  Or actually, it really isn't teaching that attracts me about this profession, it's the learning (that my students do but that I also do).  I think that knowledge (although admittedly selective at times) is so great and I can never get enough of it.  I've learned so much so far and although sometimes I just want to crawl into my bed and never get out, when I think about how much more evolved of a person I am now compared to (pick a time and date) I think: it's all worth it in the end.

At least that's what I keep telling myself...Baby steps, Ms. Lieu, baby steps.

Born Again

HELLO WORRRLDDD!!

I feel as if I have been born again but then pushed back into a womb....allow me to explain.

Spring break was two weeks ago and I traveled with D to New York and DC.  Our flight was early and so in a rush I forgot the most important thing: my cell phone.  I had already intentionally left my labtop behind because I wanted a real break away from PACT, lesson planning and anything related to school.  What I did not plan on was zero connection to the outer world and no access to my e-mail.

Yes, I panicked. But yes, it was a GREAT week.  As Alicia Keys says is so perfectly, those streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you.  I have a new life goal: To move to New York.  Only under perfect conditions of course.  But maybe God's got something huge planned....you never know.

I loved the East coast so much that I actually cried when I got onto the plane to come back. To be completely honest, I was also unwilling to face the real world again in particularly the thing that must not be named (starts with a P ends with a ACT).  But as all dreams come to a close, I came back and faced a miserable week completeing that which must not be named.  In the end on wednesday, I submitted the whopping 95 single spaced page horror that I had been working on the entire last quarter.  I had actually finished it before break and all that was left was another look over. formatting and assembling.  That alone ended up taking up a lot longer than expected. But I can now say at long last, it is finally over.

The sudden influx of technology after a week of electronic-less east coast has left my brain in sustained shock.

I breathed one breath of fresh air (the born part) and then began panicking for the next stage in this program: Job hunting (climbing back into the womb...gross but an accurate analogy).

Currently though, I am allowing myself to relax for just a second to think about something that was on my mind when I was in New York.  Yes New York is great, but Los Angeles is also!  One thing I did not like better about the east coast was the food.  LA wins all the way.  Which got me thinking, I have one more quarter living in westwood and then who knows where in LA i'll be next year.  Yes it's important for me to focus my energy on job hunting and career building, but I have made myself some goals for the remaining quarter relating to what I want to see or do to explore this diverse community:

1. ARTSY THINGS...because i love it and LA has it.
a.) visit hammer museum again
b.) visit getty museum
c.) see LA phil
d.) Attend a minimum of 4 artsy things put on by UCLA students

2. EAT LOTS OF FOOD...but healthy
before listing things....let me explain.  I am considering becoming a part time vegetarian.  I've actually been thinking about this for a long time.  For whatever reason, i have an incredibly weak stomach.  A lot of it relates to stress.  I have also noticed that some foods cause me major discomfort more than others and they are usually spicy, meaty and above all greasy.  So I am going on a new diet regime not for losing weight or anything like that but for the sole purpose of feeling good after a meal.  I have already begun this and felt great!
a.) Discover and eat at a NEW vegan restuarants
b.) Try 5 new food places (not inclusive with part a)
c.) Find and have amazing coffee at 4 different cafes
d.) Find and eat at 5 different dessert places

3.) BE A PERSON WHO IS HIP
a.) Find and photograph 7 beautiful things
b.) Shop and buy something at two unknown stores (only two because I don't want my wallet to hurt)
c.) Visit Silverlake


10 weeks.....LETS GO!! I will use this blog to keep myself accountable so look forward to posts about 1-3. (:

Nostalgia

Just remembered this:
http://www.youtube.com/watchv=A02X9_w3DWA&list=PLVFE0P70CWLGC89IB12M8YSAGHSR_MUXE

I played it with SDYS and international students summer of '06? '07? One of those years....Classical music needs to be back in my life <3>

Countdown...

ONE MORE WEEK UNTIL NEW YOORRRK!!!!

I can't wait!! I feel crazy!!

One More Thing...

I don't know if there are any high school students who may stumble across my blog but I think I can safely say for all the teachers out there to the high school students:

We hate bad phone calls home as much as you hate your parents receiving them.

Just wasn't sure if that was clear.....

That Awkward Moment When...

Yesterday, the statistics project of the chapter was due and today the students presented them.  Their project was to research a statistic on a social issue and to calculate, educate and spread awareness of that statistic and its implications.  The physical end product is a brochure that includes all of this information and a few well stated last words from the projects creators.  This project was definitely a powerful one.  I think that the students not only related to the topics themselves personally, but many courageous conversations were created as well. I ran the presentations like I normally do and suddenly reality popped up all over the place.  During a feedback moment one student made a comment on why they like the presentation of a group that choose to do their project on unexpected pregnancy. He said "I like this topic because I am a product of an unexpected pregnancy."  Another group chose to do their project on animal testing and why they had made the personal decision to not wear make up.  Another moment occurred when a student spoke passionately about bullying and in particular bullying of kids who were suspected homosexuals.  His project was on percentages of attempted suicides and he was brave enough to share that he knew someone who had actually gone through with it.  Many shared stories where they knew loved ones who had experienced domestic violence, rape and drug abuse.  On and on the stories went. There were times when several people made light of certain topics. There were as many times where students stood in silence (out fear? respect? loss of words? I couldn't tell) while someone shared a story.


This Friday I'm doing my teacher role for my seminar class.  It's really open ended. I can do a lesson on whatever I want (within reason of course).

At first I was ready to share about cognitive coaching, a useful reflective strategy that my mentor and I do on a regular basis.  But after this week, I'm ready to choose an entirely different topic: How to deal with unexpected uncomfortable moments

There were so many serious issues and topics being addressed in class today. But at the same time, i felt SO ill equipped with how to handle the conversation. I was so afraid of trivializing the topics that I was left speechless at times.   Hopefully my seminar class can shed some light this friday....

People These Days

The program I'm in is specifically focused on social justice.  This means that as a cohort, we are required to attend conferences on diversity, immigration, deficit and a multitude of many more social justice topics.  We take classes that center around bringing out and hearing out the oppressed. We are also tossed into a field that force us to be vulnerable to the ugliness that is those who suffer from weak education simply because they were born into the wrong part of the city.  My program's goals target racism at its core and we are constantly challenged as teachers to be unceasingly critical and reflective.  In the end, I (a product of this program) should be graduating fully aware of the injustice that is acutely prevalent in not only the education world but also in it's intersecting spheres including but limited to: feminism, gay rights and racism.

I have never been one to have a indestructibly firm opinion on any topic. I've always accepted that people can have their opinion on things and that it was okay. But after being in the program I am beginning to understand and join the craze (for public education of course).  I've become one of those people who I never understood.  Without going into too much detail and from words out of Adrienne Nguyen's mouth on public education: "Why is this a thiiiingg???"

So in the midst of all this social justice rallying inside my head that's been chanting louder and louder within the past couple of months, imagine my surprise when i came across this blog and this post:

How to Rape Women and Get Away with it

I am friends with a feminist on facebook and so things are constantly appearing on my newsfeed. Usually I'd glaze over it like I do with all other newsfeed posts when all I want to do is act braindead after hours of exhaustive grading or planning or writing or teachery/gradschoolery things.  But this post caught my attention.  Not only was I surprised that people like this exist, but with my new educated lenses, all I'm able to read is:

"I'm in idiot and know nothing. Read the absurd things coming out of my mouth and believe that it is true. I like to talk as if I'm knowledgeable.  My opinions are my own and expressing them hurts no one. Woof!"

Admittedly I was enraptured by what this guy had to say.  I thought it was so absurd that he couldn't possibly be serious. I thought "this has got to be a publicity stunt."  He must just love getting a bunch of readers and realized this was a really good way.  It caught my attention at least.  

But it dawned on me, that okay, perhaps this guy may or may not be serious about what he writes on his blog but there must be people out there who drink in and believe every word he says.  This is infuriating! 

Once again in the words of Adrienne Nguyen: WHY IS THIS A THINNNNGGGG??????

Just food for thought.

New Things

I got my new Kate Spade bag today!!! It is GOOORGEOUS!

I love the rush of getting new things. It makes everything better.  I feel that anything in this world is possible (:

Looking Up

Good things that happened this week:

-I taught for the WHOLE day today!!! definite success (:
-Discovered that my mentor is preggers!! (which is why i taught all day today because she was doing baby doctor stuff)
-ordered new bag in Kate Spade flash sale and got a ridiculously good deal all with Darius's blessing.  (Which is important to me because I fear he will judge)
-Made some kind of progress with my PACT (performance assessment for California teachers) (yes it's as ridiculous as it sounds)
-Love Kimbra http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BetVjXZJL_s
-Dreaming of summer beach time
-Had good coffee several times (it's hard to get bad coffee in LA! unlike other places....)
-Went to the gym a lot to ward off stress. It kind of worked

PACT

Yesterday, I thought I was having the worst day ever. I had been working on PACT late the night before and so naturally the next day I was a zombie.  Fortunately I really only had to exert mental energy for 2nd period since period 6 was given their period to work on their projects. Even with that little responsibility, I managed to screw it up. By far, yesterday was my worst instructional day yet.  I was tired, disorganized, and  just overall not feeling it.

So yes I thought yesterday was the worst day ever, but today proved to be worse.  In general my disposition towards my students have been pretty good.  I wanted them all to achieve and their poor work ethic made me want to motivate them more.  But today, for the first time, I was legitimately angry and disappointed at two of my students.  So angry in fact, that for a moment i felt zero desire for them to succeed. I was attempting to use a common classroom strategy at the end of the period so that i could monitor and assess the students' learning. Today was the second time and it completely backfired in my face.  Anyways, without going into too much detail, they zoomed out of the classroom like the lesson was some kind of joke after being disruptive all day.

It difficult to always remember that my students from economically disadvantaged backgrounds and that their behavior is not always necessarily their fault. Of course, their maturity and self sufficiency has yet to develop since they're freshmen.  But I can't help but think of all the people who have risen above that despite the circumstances.

As I'm working on PACT, I can't help but feel a little silly about doing the work for a week of curriculum to prove that I am worthy of being a teacher.  All this ridiculous work proves nothing when faced in a live classroom.

I'm glad I have shoes to browse to get me through the day...

Music is Love

I discovered an AWESOME band!!! Just wanted to share:

Atlas Genius....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd2yr12abg8

EL Learners

Viva La Musica

AHH! I almost failed my new years resolutions already ):

But i will count this post as the later part of the "next week." On the other hand, my new years resolution of going to the gym has been swell! I've already gone 5 times in the last week.

Today is the first day of the second week of school for this quarter.  It's been alright so far.  Right before school started i was really nervous to be teaching again.  Even though I've been student teaching for a little over 5 months, sometimes it still feels nerve wracking particularly right after a long break.

This quarter is suppose to be the most difficult quarter because of PACT (a thing teachers have to do to get their credentials).  Hopefully i'll be on top of my game and zoom through this quarter.  Easy peasy.  Actually i will more likely be crying and traumatized by the time its spring break.  Which brings me to my next topic.  I am going to New York and D.C. this spring break!! I'm so excited! Miss Rachel is still on her winter break from NYU and so she visited me this past weekend.  Her visit made me realize how much i missed her as well as all of my other UCI friends.  I've recently caught myself reminiscing a few times about old UCI times.  I realize I really miss the music aspect of my life, people, instruments, concerts and all.  It's been a while since I've had no classical music interaction in my life and it sucks.

So because of this lack of good music in my life, I created a pandora account.  Of course it's not the same but how come pandora has never been a part of my life before now?!?!

On a look out for: cheap and good classical concerts in LA

Obligatory New Years Post

Happy New Years everyone!!

I can't believe how fast 2012 flew by! It feels like just yesterday that I was posting about my resolutions for this pat year.

2012 recap:

*I worked my dream job as a barista and watched little booger covered children at an after school program.
*I took and passed endless tests including: All three math categories CSET's, CBEST, and GRE's (actually i think that was 2011)
*I submitted my application and interviewed for UCLA's teacher ed program, got accepted and began the program.
*I traveled internationally and alone for the first time.
*I went to Japan!
*My great grandma passed away at age 106 (what a fighter!)
*I attended Darius's 3324623 hour long graduation.
*I got braces (invisalign!!)
*and above all, i realized again and again how wonderful God is and how perfectly my life is laid out.

I think the greatest thing I learned this year is that no matter how challenging and uncertain times may be, God always has the perfect plan.  I started 2012 with no solid plans and full of fear that i would end up no where. What if i got into nowhere for grad school? At times, the only thing i felt i was certain of was that i wasn't certain of anything. Luckily, with some well planted people in my life, some old, some new, some reappearances and with difficult faith placed in God, I made it through and I feel so blessed to be where i am now.  I love my family, friends and boyfriend for being there every step of the way.

Now begins a new near filled with new uncertainty and challenges.  I feel that there are ever appearing challenges being presented at the most inopportune times.  But I know from last year that God always has a plan.  I feel renewed for this new year and am excited to see what will happen. My new years resolutions include:

1.) Blogging at least once a week! Yes this one again! I did this resolution a few years ago and it was more or less successful.  I loved it and it made me a more reflective creature.  It also reminded me to count my blessings which brings me to my next resolution

2.) Living in the present.  It sounds silly but I realized last year how much i lived for the future.  I would always think, "I just need to make it to this date and i'll know if I'm in the program". Or "when I'm married and have my own house, I will have this and this and this!" Or, "I just need to make it through this year and then i'll get a real job!" I noticed this mostly when i was applying for grad schools.  I would dream about getting in and the life i would have as a grad student. But i noticed that now that I'm actually living my graduate student life, I keep thinking about life after grad school.  So i resolve to appreciate what i have now and to enjoy the present rather than thinking so much about the future.

3.) Be able to finish one drink (and still be okay).  HE HE HE. Allow me to explain.  Once i entered into Grad school, naturally I've been hanging out with older people. I've realized that older people's favorite down time activity is to drink.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm making this resolution for myself an no one else.  I find it frustrating that I'm always getting other people to finish my drinks. Something else i'd like to note is that I will still be drinking on my own terms.  If i don't feel like a drink that day, I will still abide by that.  Anyways, one year to build my tolerance up from half a beer to a whole one isn't unreasonable right?

4.) Gym at least once a week!!! I want to make it more but I've been thinking that pact is coming up as well as my master thesis so I've got to be reasonable right? A few months ago, the TEP people at UCLA was required to attend a talk about stress. The speaker emphasized that a human body only NEEDS 3 things: food, sleep, exercise.  I was surprised that exercise was essential but then the speaker clarified that he really meant that movement is essential.  So I to ensure that include movement in my daily routine, i will force myself to go to the gym rather than sit around like a lump in front of the TV.

Cheers everyone to making it to the new year!!! I'm excited for this year and will try my best to post about it regularly (: