My linear algebra class is a thriving habitat home to numerous varieties of rare species.
Smartius-Professorius: This rare breed as some may describe it is the "leader of the pack." It's duty is to lead this community into the enlightenment with its amazing alpha-like characteristics.
Hairless-Teacherous -Assisstius: This animal is the beta to the omniscience Smartius-Professorius. It displays similiar enlightening powers but none as mighty or powerful as the one born with true alpha qualities. This animal's most distinguishing trademark is its lack of hair. Fun Fact: Will remind one of a "naked mole rat"
Deceptive-Uglyus: Watch out for this animal as its looks and distinctive guttural noises will distract you from your train of thought. It is known for it's random grunting that consistently throws Smartius Professorius off guard. Once the element of distraction is achieved, it will then pounce and attack with forcible questions and hard stares the latter of which will make the prey squeamish. In this community there exists two Deceptive Uglyus' who combined make a deadly pair. Beware of its pretty hair that serves as bait and attracts bamboozled victims from behind
Vexatious-Sniffulous: The most lively and abundant species of them all. Vexatious sniffulous will make your eyes widen (with fury, shock and disbelief) as they combined can and will sniff up to about an average of 11 sniffs per minute! Their most amazing trait is that as some kind of built in defense mechanism, this species will increase their rate of sniffing with every glare that is thrown at them.
Incubus-of-Viral-Plague-I-Hate-Her-ius. This species belongs under the vexatious-sniffulous family. It arrives 5-10 minutes late to the community every morning and chooses to sit near you trapping you with every last germ that flows from the pores of its head. There is no escape. (Today Incubus-of-Viral-Plague-I-Hate-Her-ius sat behind me and i think i actually saw a booger fly out of her nose. For the remainder of the day i feared that the booger had somehow landed on the back of my cardigan and i was consequently walking around like a moron while passerby gawked and pointed in disgust.)
Snorlax Doldrumius: Quite the opposite of Vexatious Sniffulous, Snorlax Doldrumius' arrives to the community early and dozes off to the sound of Smartius Proffessorius's all powerful hypnotic voice to which they are most susceptible. To them the world exists in shades of black, gray and white.
Smokey Lung Cancerous: Do not be fooled by their talkative nature. This creature secretly has many problems and manifests them all through their smoking addiction. Their faces feature a look of permanent emptiness and are just downright depressing.
Turbo-Shut-the-Hell-up-ius: The sound of this animals voice is itself a deadly weapon. Every word it utters sounds like a plead or whine. very very Irritating. It's voice is everywhere you go and haunts you in your sleep. Sometimes it is like a buzz in your ear, one you can get use to. But when this animal is confused or being extra stupid, it will project its voice to an alarming volume with much energy and kill all of those who are in the vicinity. In the community, other species refer to her as Turbo because she can notoriously chug through gallons and gallons of mucus during every congregation of this habitat (these last 50 minutes). This is achieved through never ever halting chatter.
What am i?
I am Neck Snap Turnius: Similarly to Vexatious-Sniffulous, I can turn my head to stare at the clock at an alarming rate of 11 turns per minute. We are an an endangered species as increasingly more and more of my kind mysteriously cease to show up as time progresses.
I must put forth my best efforts to continue showing up to these daily congregations as the absence of one species will surly be the the tipping point of our harmonious existence.
However, i also fear that if i do continue showing up to these daily congregations i will cave in and go permanently insane which will also in turn become the death of us all.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Brain Theory Proof:
Math is all about proofs.
Proof:
Today i wrote in my journal for the first time in a long time. As i began the entry i recorded the date:
4/26/07
5 minutes ago i was trying to remember how old i was.... 19? 20? 17? surly not 18.
Proof:
Today i wrote in my journal for the first time in a long time. As i began the entry i recorded the date:
4/26/07
5 minutes ago i was trying to remember how old i was.... 19? 20? 17? surly not 18.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Obsessions
After lunch today, as i walked back into the deepest/hairiest armpit (i describe it like this because it's so darn far!) of middle earth, i overheard a conversation shared between two middle-aged men. Man number one said "oh i made a facebook today! it was great seeing how some of the members from my class in college are." Man number two nodded in puzzled interest over the existence of such a bizarre online community. Ack. Facebook stalking at it's finest. Here is proof that online stalking is an inherented part of human nature. On a slightly different note, i was surprised to hear the satement "i made a facebook today." I guess facebook has been so ingrained into my daily life that i temporarily forgot that we weren't all just born with one.
I'm super excited about Harry Potter 6 coming out in theatres. The latest trailer looks pretty freaking amazing actually. Maybe this movie will scratch the surface of just how brilliant the books are. The other movies did the books no justice.
SPEAKING of books, i recently discovered that the final book to one of my favorite series was released April 14th. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! i havnt read the second to last or BOUGHT the third to last in the series yet. Anyways let me tell you a little about this series and why you should read it. here is my review:
Megan McCafferty, author of the Jessica Darling series, is truly genius in the way she brings her readers from a cult of domestcity suburbia to a hip and upscale ever-rising metropolis city through the eyes of a spunky yet cynical, smart yet insecure girl whose last name is as sweet as the complete opposite of her perspective on life in general. If you like a girl who is not afriad to tell it as it is, Jessica Darling is your perfect soul mate. She reflects several things I'm not but aspire to be.
Read it.
I guess i have a mission now (:
I'm super excited about Harry Potter 6 coming out in theatres. The latest trailer looks pretty freaking amazing actually. Maybe this movie will scratch the surface of just how brilliant the books are. The other movies did the books no justice.
SPEAKING of books, i recently discovered that the final book to one of my favorite series was released April 14th. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! i havnt read the second to last or BOUGHT the third to last in the series yet. Anyways let me tell you a little about this series and why you should read it. here is my review:
Megan McCafferty, author of the Jessica Darling series, is truly genius in the way she brings her readers from a cult of domestcity suburbia to a hip and upscale ever-rising metropolis city through the eyes of a spunky yet cynical, smart yet insecure girl whose last name is as sweet as the complete opposite of her perspective on life in general. If you like a girl who is not afriad to tell it as it is, Jessica Darling is your perfect soul mate. She reflects several things I'm not but aspire to be.
Read it.
I guess i have a mission now (:
Monday, April 20, 2009
Oops!
Mum: Are you having midterm very soon
Mum:When
Mum: together
Mum: oopps
Me : haha
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Rape and Elephants
On what should be done if one was raped by a friend:
Me: I would be really pissed and unfriend them
David: OMG you're so easy. If i were you i would get close to them and cut off their balls and then leave them alive to suffer with no dick.
So dont even try to rape me.
-------------
Some people may wonder why i love elephants so much. I have no idea why i possess this certain affinity towards those huge creatures. Perhaps it is because i owned a elephant stuffed animal when i as younger and it was the only one that didn't let me down. For example:
-barbie snow white: Of all my barbie dolls i use to (still) own, snow white was my favorite. I would comb her hair dress her up and even take baths with her. During one of these routine baths we had together, barbie snow white's head came off with an unceremonious pop. Needless to say, it has never been the same for me with barbies again.
-peebaby: Before my barbie stage i had an unhealthy obsession with dolls. I was inseparable with one in particular. She was blond, plastic and about the size of a football. Her most distinguishing trait was that she could pee. yes, pee. I don't know if the fact that she was white and behaved disturbingly similarly to a real baby was the manufacturer's idea of a funny joke on the parents with the obsessed child or the government's method of preconditioning its buyer to grow up to be the stereotypically American housewife, but in retrospect that was a very disturbing doll. Thankfully i grew out of that horrendous stage of needing to "pee" my "baby" every 30 minutes and moved on on greater things. I will not have my own children attatched to such a freaky toy....but then again maybe that's what my mother said.
-Mr. Bun Bun: This is perhaps the strangest attachment i have ever had. I never really LIKED Mr. Bun Bun, my blue stuffed Easter rabbit. In fact, his face is one of permanent sadness with big brown eyes depressing anyone/everyone who happened to steal a glance at him. However, i never slept without it, along with my body pillow. Fortunately i manage to ditch Mr. Bun Bun. His melancholy eyes will never forgive me. But, the body pillow still remains an important object that allows me to fall asleep and no so luckily for me, college has shown the world just this.
So the elephant stuffed animal i owned was probably the coolest toy i had. The ears make a sqeaky noise, it has a rattler on the tip of its nose and mirrors under its feet. It entertained me for hours on end. I remember it use to be enormous and now that i think about it, i did suffer small disappointment when i found it again a few years later and discovered that i had shrunk. Obviously it didnt shrink, i had simply grown. How sad.
I remember the same thing happened with Disneyland. It was the most magical place when i was about 6 or 7. But i recall that i hadnt visited disneyland until highschool again and there was nothing to bridge the gap inbetween. Disneyland was no longer magical.
BUT NOT MY ELEPHANT!! of course the name of my elephant is Ella Phant. I beleive i stole the name from somewhere, most likely a Junie B. Jones book.
ANYWAYS....this is such a pointless blog.
Davido believes that i love elephants for quite a different reason and has decided to express his opinions here:
**THEREOM!!!! >>>HUGE CREATURE LOVES HUGE CREATURE!<<< TRUE OR FALSE?***
a brief translation: he thinks i am an elephant. or at least elephant sized ):
Me: I would be really pissed and unfriend them
David: OMG you're so easy. If i were you i would get close to them and cut off their balls and then leave them alive to suffer with no dick.
So dont even try to rape me.
-------------
Some people may wonder why i love elephants so much. I have no idea why i possess this certain affinity towards those huge creatures. Perhaps it is because i owned a elephant stuffed animal when i as younger and it was the only one that didn't let me down. For example:
-barbie snow white: Of all my barbie dolls i use to (still) own, snow white was my favorite. I would comb her hair dress her up and even take baths with her. During one of these routine baths we had together, barbie snow white's head came off with an unceremonious pop. Needless to say, it has never been the same for me with barbies again.
-peebaby: Before my barbie stage i had an unhealthy obsession with dolls. I was inseparable with one in particular. She was blond, plastic and about the size of a football. Her most distinguishing trait was that she could pee. yes, pee. I don't know if the fact that she was white and behaved disturbingly similarly to a real baby was the manufacturer's idea of a funny joke on the parents with the obsessed child or the government's method of preconditioning its buyer to grow up to be the stereotypically American housewife, but in retrospect that was a very disturbing doll. Thankfully i grew out of that horrendous stage of needing to "pee" my "baby" every 30 minutes and moved on on greater things. I will not have my own children attatched to such a freaky toy....but then again maybe that's what my mother said.
-Mr. Bun Bun: This is perhaps the strangest attachment i have ever had. I never really LIKED Mr. Bun Bun, my blue stuffed Easter rabbit. In fact, his face is one of permanent sadness with big brown eyes depressing anyone/everyone who happened to steal a glance at him. However, i never slept without it, along with my body pillow. Fortunately i manage to ditch Mr. Bun Bun. His melancholy eyes will never forgive me. But, the body pillow still remains an important object that allows me to fall asleep and no so luckily for me, college has shown the world just this.
So the elephant stuffed animal i owned was probably the coolest toy i had. The ears make a sqeaky noise, it has a rattler on the tip of its nose and mirrors under its feet. It entertained me for hours on end. I remember it use to be enormous and now that i think about it, i did suffer small disappointment when i found it again a few years later and discovered that i had shrunk. Obviously it didnt shrink, i had simply grown. How sad.
I remember the same thing happened with Disneyland. It was the most magical place when i was about 6 or 7. But i recall that i hadnt visited disneyland until highschool again and there was nothing to bridge the gap inbetween. Disneyland was no longer magical.
BUT NOT MY ELEPHANT!! of course the name of my elephant is Ella Phant. I beleive i stole the name from somewhere, most likely a Junie B. Jones book.
ANYWAYS....this is such a pointless blog.
Davido believes that i love elephants for quite a different reason and has decided to express his opinions here:
**THEREOM!!!! >>>HUGE CREATURE LOVES HUGE CREATURE!<<< TRUE OR FALSE?***
a brief translation: he thinks i am an elephant. or at least elephant sized ):
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Dreams
Last night i dreamed a very odd dream. In it i was pregnant and was somehow carrying my belly around in my arms. My "belly" with the fetus in it was attached to my "stomach" by a very thin flesh piece of string. I woke up in a very confused state and decided to get to the bottom of what this dream meant.
After googleing "dream interpretations" and entering in the word "pregnant" i found one possible explanation for my dream:
Pregnant
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it.� This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.
Interesting.
I decided that this was not quite representative of my life except for perhaps my taking up of a hip hop class this quarter so i searched more words including stomach and abdomen:
Stomach
To see your own stomach in your dream, suggests the beginning of new changes in your life. It may refer to your difficulties with accepting these changes. It is also indicative of how you can no longer tolerate or put up with a particular situation, relationship, or person. The stomach may also be seen as the center of emotions.
Abdomen
To see your abdomen in a dream, refers to your natural instincts and repressed emotions. There is something in your real life that you "cannot stomach" or have difficulties accepting. You need to get it out of your system. Alternatively, the abdomen may be strictly physiological and you may just be experiencing constipation or indigestion.
Anyways, what my dreams mean may never be clear but i suppose i'll have to let it go for the time being.
---edit---
on kiwi birds...
albert: Look! they have no arms! That's sooooo cute!
HAHAHAHHA
After googleing "dream interpretations" and entering in the word "pregnant" i found one possible explanation for my dream:
Pregnant
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it.� This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.
Interesting.
I decided that this was not quite representative of my life except for perhaps my taking up of a hip hop class this quarter so i searched more words including stomach and abdomen:
Stomach
To see your own stomach in your dream, suggests the beginning of new changes in your life. It may refer to your difficulties with accepting these changes. It is also indicative of how you can no longer tolerate or put up with a particular situation, relationship, or person. The stomach may also be seen as the center of emotions.
Abdomen
To see your abdomen in a dream, refers to your natural instincts and repressed emotions. There is something in your real life that you "cannot stomach" or have difficulties accepting. You need to get it out of your system. Alternatively, the abdomen may be strictly physiological and you may just be experiencing constipation or indigestion.
To dream that you abdomen is exposed, signifies trust and vulnerability. You may be expressing a desire to express your primal emotions/instincts.
To dream that your abdomen is swollen, indicates that some new project is in the works.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ahhh i found the constipation part particularly funny.
Anyways, what my dreams mean may never be clear but i suppose i'll have to let it go for the time being.
---edit---
on kiwi birds...
albert: Look! they have no arms! That's sooooo cute!
HAHAHAHHA
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The Brain Theory
I have a theory.
Since birth an important section of my brain was missing and it it has prevented me from performing critical thought processes. I have concluded that there are two possible ways this could have happen:
1.)My parentals signed a contract when i was born selling my baby body/brain in the name of science to the doctors who birthed me in hopes that one day my achievements or lack thereof will somehow be the cause of great celebration because it would lead to the result of some scientific breakthrough that would validate the existence of this mediocre humanity. How this will happen i do not know for i do not possess the brain capacity. But i believe that even as i write this, scientists are fiddling with that small part of my brain in some laboratory and creating an army of genetically engineered mutant me's while the remains of that brain part (me) sits here rotting away like a vegetable.
2.) I was simply and unfortunatly born this way: with three quarters of a brain and it has remained so. My parents were too ashamed and sad and decided against informing me about this small ordeal. They figured it was for the best and hoped that i could live a normal, content life without realizing anything. It is with deepest regrets that i (might have) somehow discovered this inconvenient truth.
Amazingly, I am deciding to accept this.
Today i was talking about this troubling situation to the one person who amazingly has MORE brain than is possible and who amazingly doesnt make me feel like there was a possibility my brain cells were transferred into his skull 18 years ago: Darius
v: ):
d: shes jujst
Since birth an important section of my brain was missing and it it has prevented me from performing critical thought processes. I have concluded that there are two possible ways this could have happen:
1.)My parentals signed a contract when i was born selling my baby body/brain in the name of science to the doctors who birthed me in hopes that one day my achievements or lack thereof will somehow be the cause of great celebration because it would lead to the result of some scientific breakthrough that would validate the existence of this mediocre humanity. How this will happen i do not know for i do not possess the brain capacity. But i believe that even as i write this, scientists are fiddling with that small part of my brain in some laboratory and creating an army of genetically engineered mutant me's while the remains of that brain part (me) sits here rotting away like a vegetable.
2.) I was simply and unfortunatly born this way: with three quarters of a brain and it has remained so. My parents were too ashamed and sad and decided against informing me about this small ordeal. They figured it was for the best and hoped that i could live a normal, content life without realizing anything. It is with deepest regrets that i (might have) somehow discovered this inconvenient truth.
Amazingly, I am deciding to accept this.
Today i was talking about this troubling situation to the one person who amazingly has MORE brain than is possible and who amazingly doesnt make me feel like there was a possibility my brain cells were transferred into his skull 18 years ago: Darius
v: i think by age 30
v: i will become a vegetable
v: ):
v: ):
v: ur girlfriend is in the process of becoming a vegetable
v: how do you feel about that
v: ?
v: ?
d: shes jujst
d: in a bad mood
d: eveyone thinkgs
d: they
d: are lacking some though process
v: brain dead
d: you arent going to be brain dead
ahhh....this makes me feel better already (:
v: brain dead
d: you arent going to be brain dead
ahhh....this makes me feel better already (:
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