An Ecosystem of Rare Breeds

My linear algebra class is a thriving habitat home to numerous varieties of rare species.

Smartius-Professorius: This rare breed as some may describe it is the "leader of the pack." It's duty is to lead this community into the enlightenment with its amazing alpha-like characteristics.

Hairless-Teacherous -Assisstius: This animal is the beta to the omniscience Smartius-Professorius. It displays similiar enlightening powers but none as mighty or powerful as the one born with true alpha qualities. This animal's most distinguishing trademark is its lack of hair. Fun Fact: Will remind one of a "naked mole rat"

Deceptive-Uglyus: Watch out for this animal as its looks and distinctive guttural noises will distract you from your train of thought. It is known for it's random grunting that consistently throws Smartius Professorius off guard. Once the element of distraction is achieved, it will then pounce and attack with forcible questions and hard stares the latter of which will make the prey squeamish. In this community there exists two Deceptive Uglyus' who combined make a deadly pair. Beware of its pretty hair that serves as bait and attracts bamboozled victims from behind

Vexatious-Sniffulous: The most lively and abundant species of them all. Vexatious sniffulous will make your eyes widen (with fury, shock and disbelief) as they combined can and will sniff up to about an average of 11 sniffs per minute! Their most amazing trait is that as some kind of built in defense mechanism, this species will increase their rate of sniffing with every glare that is thrown at them.

Incubus-of-Viral-Plague-I-Hate-Her-ius. This species belongs under the vexatious-sniffulous family. It arrives 5-10 minutes late to the community every morning and chooses to sit near you trapping you with every last germ that flows from the pores of its head. There is no escape. (Today Incubus-of-Viral-Plague-I-Hate-Her-ius sat behind me and i think i actually saw a booger fly out of her nose. For the remainder of the day i feared that the booger had somehow landed on the back of my cardigan and i was consequently walking around like a moron while passerby gawked and pointed in disgust.)

Snorlax Doldrumius: Quite the opposite of Vexatious Sniffulous, Snorlax Doldrumius' arrives to the community early and dozes off to the sound of Smartius Proffessorius's all powerful hypnotic voice to which they are most susceptible. To them the world exists in shades of black, gray and white.

Smokey Lung Cancerous: Do not be fooled by their talkative nature. This creature secretly has many problems and manifests them all through their smoking addiction. Their faces feature a look of permanent emptiness and are just downright depressing.

Turbo-Shut-the-Hell-up-ius: The sound of this animals voice is itself a deadly weapon. Every word it utters sounds like a plead or whine. very very Irritating. It's voice is everywhere you go and haunts you in your sleep. Sometimes it is like a buzz in your ear, one you can get use to. But when this animal is confused or being extra stupid, it will project its voice to an alarming volume with much energy and kill all of those who are in the vicinity. In the community, other species refer to her as Turbo because she can notoriously chug through gallons and gallons of mucus during every congregation of this habitat (these last 50 minutes). This is achieved through never ever halting chatter.

What am i?

I am Neck Snap Turnius: Similarly to Vexatious-Sniffulous, I can turn my head to stare at the clock at an alarming rate of 11 turns per minute. We are an an endangered species as increasingly more and more of my kind mysteriously cease to show up as time progresses.

I must put forth my best efforts to continue showing up to these daily congregations as the absence of one species will surly be the the tipping point of our harmonious existence.

However, i also fear that if i do continue showing up to these daily congregations i will cave in and go permanently insane which will also in turn become the death of us all.