Decisions

I can't cope.

I can cope.

I can't cope.

I can cope.

i can't cope.

i can cope.

i can't cope

i can cope

i can't cope

i can cope

i can cope

i can't cope

i can cope

i can't cope

i can cope

i can't cope

i can cope

i can't cope

i can cope

i can't cope

i can cope

i can't cope

i can cope

i canpt cope

i can cope

i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i canot
i can cope
i cant cope
i can cope
i cant cope
i can cope
i cant cope
i can cope icant cope
i can cope
i cant cope
i can copt
i can not cope
i can cope
i cant cope
i can cope
i cant cope
i canot ecoept
ei canoept cope
i canot cpe
i cano topce
i can cope
i canot cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i can't cope
i can cope
i cant cope
i can cope
i cant cope
i can cope
i cant cope
i can cope
i canot cope
i can cope
i cant cope
i can cope i cant cope
i can cope
i canot cope
i can cope
i canot cope
i can cope



i might be able to cope.

Swine Everywhere

Ladies and gentlemen, it is finals week. Once again, there is no clear distinction between day and night and he whole week is blurred into one never ending day. There is caffeine, scrawled on white paper and yes....sick people all around. This is possibly the nastiest combination of college behavior i can imagine.

The weather is amazing and one of my favorites. The rain brings out the color in everything and all around me is vivid color. Even though i arrived to my first final of the year drenched from waist down (an umbrella only does so much) i can't help but be thankful/grateful that we finally have some decent amount of rain after a long blinding summer and early fall of sunshine. Of course with this weather comes some drawbacks. As i sat taking my math final on monday (soaking wet) of course the person who sits behind me happens to be the one kid in the class who is sick with fluids flowing out of every pore in his body. All i can recall from those two horrendous hours is the most infuriating hacking and sniffing coming from THIS KID. I also remember feeling the greatest wave of relief when this disgusting human finished his test and hauled his swine flu ass away from our classroom and thus far away from me.

Speaking of swine flu.

After my math final i finally did what my parents nagged at me for FOREVER to do: Get the H1N1 shot. Later that day i received an e-mail that i could only assume my math professor had mass forwarded to everyone:

Hi everyone,
I has been informed by one of your classmates that he has
been diagnosed with h1n1 after he took the Final Exam.
Please be cautious.

Sincerely

Weian Zheng

Professor

I am almost 100% sure it was the dude sitting behind me. (: anyways. i thought i'd post this in case i die anytime soon. Darius can have Beethoven my sheep. Justin can have my ipod and cello (if he wants). My cousin bridget can have my unfinished nutella. Tim and Justin can split my collection of calvin and hobbes comics. All of my clothing/accessories/shoe possessions can be shared amoung my CIRCLE of friends back home. except for my uggs. Since they're new, id like to be wearing those when im dead. And my headband becuase it was so darn expensive FOR a headband....which id also like to be wearing when im dead. and Helen may have my collection of journals full of shame shame shame. My parents can do what they wish with everything else.

hmmm....

thats all. i hope it wont come to this. Hopefully i WILL survive finals and see everyone soon!

Call me beep me...

bum bum ba dum!

heres the sitch

I have already weeded out all the people i don't like in my math classes based on their personal hygiene and my "smartass" radar.

I live in a luxuriously gigantic room complete with a private bathroom, extra bed, closet and desk.

I've survived thus far cooking and fending for my life.

I have lost at least 5 pounds since welcome week and know this from the multiple doctor visits i have already made. (all for good reason: headaches and whatnot)

My parents are worried that i might have a tumor in my brain but that is highly improbably since special precautions were taken when the procedure was made: see post about the brain theory.

Amazingly, my apartment mates are NOT psychotic despite all of the horror roommate stories from my mothers past. On the contrary im very pleased with the room assignments.

Music is taking over my life but don't get me wrong: this is a good thing. On the other hand i hardly have any time for math: what i am oh-so-proudly majoring in and what i hope to live off of in the future. right?

I webcam regularly to my D every night for he completes my day of course. And i play the role of his discretely crazy obsessed girlfriend he wish he never had. (: just kidding.

Lastly, for those who asked (and yes people have asked, im not just using this blog as a means to get what i want...although even if i were no one would ever know): i would like Nordstrom giftcards for my birthday. And there is no need to go all out. I will greatly appreciate if there were a mere 5 dollars on it.

YES!

I do believe in love at first sight.

And this was love at first sight. When i found the perfect parking spot in the parking garage 10 feet from The Entrance, I knew something wonderful was going to happen. The same rush comes to me as it always does when i stepped inside. I inhale the luxurious scent of fresh brand new leather. I walk by and feel the smooth and firm straps and buckles and heels under the tips of my fingers. Oh! An assistant with his bright welcoming smile is asking me if i am finding everything alright! Yes everything is good...the world is at peace. He informs me about the sale that i of course already knew was coming this friday. I am fingering the beaded works of one particular peep-toe as he rambles on, when something catches my ear. "Can you repeat that?" i say. He smiles and repeats "The shipments for the sale has actually arrived already and we're doing a pre-sale meaning you can actually get the items before they officially come out...for the sale price! It's a secret we're not suppose to tell." He winks and hands me a catalogue. With my eyes wide i flip through the pages. There they are. The shoes that i had dreamed about but never seen on paper let alone in real life. I point at it to the assistant; "That one. In a size 7." He dissappears into the mysterious back door. I anxiously await him and finally see him reappear with a beautiful box worthy of what it contained.

The moment my feet slide into the black calf bootie, i know at once, i am in love. They were made for me. My heart quickens and i suddenly remember what i set out to do today. I think fast. "Sir, Is there any possible way i can hold these?" My stomach plummets when his face falls and replies "I'm sorry miss, we're not allowed to hold pre'sale items. I can try my best to hold on to these for you but there is no garuntee. They go fast and these in particular are quite popular." The world is sinking but i cannot give in. "May you please try to hold on to these until thrusday? and can i have your card so that i can call you to ask if they're still here?" After he hands me flawless card with each letter and number perfectly engraved in it, i leave with all the strength i can muster.

My head is held high and i am proud of myself. Self control! Yes! Solely Selfless Shopping...SSS! YES! I am stumbling around still amazed at my own abstinence. After a few minutes I realize something strange. I am still walking and browsing around but nothing makes sense. I can no longer see what is in front of me. There are no feelings at the tips of my fingers and i am numb all around.

I want those Via Spiga high heeled ankle boots.

No..I cannot contain it. I will not be complete without them...No No NO NO

YESS.....Suddenly i am in front of Nordstroms. I don't recall how i got there but i realize it was meant to be. Panicked, i rush in and desperatly search for the assistant who helped me. I cannot find him! Spazz! Spazz! And then there he was. Trying my best to be as composed as i could possibly be, I say "actually, i will take those shoes today please." He is silent for one milisecond and i burst out "Oh God!!...they're not gone already are they!?" He says "They are still here, would you like to try them on again before you make the purchase?"

I walk to my car holding a bag. Inside of that beautful silvery gray carrier Nordtrom bag is a box and inside that box wrapped delicately with tissue paper, are the most exquisite pair of shoes i have every laid my eyes on. And it is mine.

The world is content. Nordstrom is content. I am content.

Traditions

I spent the last fourth of July in San Marino at my aunt Judy's beautiful gigantic house. We walked to Lacy park to watch the display of fireworks that night. Despite our "late" arrival my (other) aunt managed to battle her way through the crowd to grab us good seats for the show. They were quite amazing....

This 4th of July weekend, i had gotten the watching fireworks out of the way as i continued my long held tradition of watching them on July 3rd, the day my high school sets off its patriotic spirits. Then today, on the real 4th of July, my parents stole my monitor that has long been collecting dust as i have currently attatched to my labtop. They spent all day setting up what is now my mothers dual screen computer...something my dad has had and my mom has envied. Meanwhile i shopped with Jun and Stephy at fashion valley. What great way to celebrate the holidays! When i got back home i found my parents snoring loudly after a long day of setting up the monitor. We went out for a Souplantation dinner and drove by several people who had set up camp for the fireworks tonight. As we drove back, my father commented on those who had set up camp and said "look at those crazy people." I discovered my parents are not huge fans of fireworks. Last night i had watched Westviews fireworks with Darius and his family after failing several times to convince my own parents to go. My dad's exact words were "Boring. And Lame. We see it all the time. I don't know about you but i don't want to sit out in the cold waiting for a measly 5 minutes of lights. Thank you very much but you can go yourself. I am not interested."

Somehow on the car ride, my parents started talking about when they were in college. A while ago, Darius and i were talking about when we first met. It was enjoyable rehashing our beginnings and it definitely brought a smile to my face. I remember him saying "the moment they first meet is one of the best memories a couple shares." So i asked my parents about when they first met. Suddenly they were off complaining about how somehow they were stuck with each other since college. Here's how the conversation went;

"So here's how it happened. I pitied your mom and saw her waiting in the heat everyday at the bus station. So i gave her a ride...who knew I'd be giving her a ride to this day???"

"What?? Truth was, Your DAD wouldnt leave me alone. Soo annoying."

"WHAT?? was it ME who wouldnt leave you alone or You who wouldnt leave ME alone?? See i just felt bad....Your mom had this foil thing she would use to cover her lunch for a week. So pitiful"

"Hey no one asked you. I was perfectly fine without your help thank you very much"

and etc. I stole a glance at my parents and on both of their faces was a huge smile. They were enjoying this! Are my eyes decieveing me? Were they FLIRTING??

Although my parents were displaying puke inducing behavior i couldn't help thinking it was pretty cute. They then told me about how they use to go this one movie theatre once a week that showed chinese movies in El Cajon. The way it worked was that they got to see 4 movies for the price of one on fridays and they would watch until one in the morning. This sort of explains why my parents are so partial to doing spontaneous things at around midnight. Moreover, it explains our family's long held tradition movie nights every friday...something i am about to do.

Anyways...Hope you are all having a fabulous summer and a wonderful fourth of July! (:

Rabbits?

Two days ago while i was driving back from a pho dinner with the parentals, my dear father tuned into AM 600 the all talk station. Feeling a little peeved, i reached to change the station to something more pop culture and a little less boring. Normally i put up with the talk stations my dad so frequently tunes into becuase there's usually something interesting on. Once again, that day, something caught my ear right when i was about to turn the dial to San Diego's hit music station: Rabbits

Mariam is a 47 year old woman who has a thing for rabbits. In 2006, authorities confiscated not one not two not even a few dozen but a total of 250 rabbits from her house. The most disturbing thing discovered by the authorities however was...get this...100 of the 250 rabbits were dead stuffed in a refridgerator, in cabinets and under sinks. They disposed of the 100 dead rabbits and put Mariam in a rehab center. While the "doctors" scratched their heads about Mariam's curious case, Mariam struck again as she escaped rehab and unbelievely broke out the 150 rabbits in 2007. She was discovered a few months later in a car with 10 rabbits, two dead and the rest hidden safely away in a hotel. "Doctors" continue to scratch their heads and are unsure and completely bedazzled about what should be done about Mariam.

...

I cannot believe this woman BROKE OUT one hundred and fifty rabbits.

Diarrhea

Monday morning was the beginning of the end. The first thing i thought that morning was "my life ends today." Unfortunately i miscalculated and set my alarm clock so that there was enough time allotted for me to panic about finals to the point of diarrhea. Somehow i recalled that doing well on any test in the morning required a proper breakfast . I trudged towards Pippin and upon arrival decided that a bagel would suffice as a "proper breakfast." Pippin is a bad choice in general.

I toasted a bagel in the toaster and when it was just right with a browning center i removed it and continued forth to spread it with peanut butter and jelly. This is when the full force of finals hit me. I walked around Pippin looking for PB&J because it was not in its usual spot and my heart started to race. Soon i freaked out completely. One bagel inconspicuously slipped from my plate and as i reached down to grab my fallen meal, the other half of the bagel went down as well. I had wasted a full bagel and had accomplished nothing.

When i was finally coordinated enough to make myself a proper PB&J bagel i realized that my throat had completely closed up. When i took a bite from my would be delicious bagel, all i tasted was sandy cardboard.

Soon a peculiar feeling started bubbling in my stomach...quite literally, bubbling. ahh......diarrhea my dear friend. Something as moronic as diarrhea right before a final could only happen to me.

Anyways, i wanted to use the blog to express my incomprehensible grief during finals week. I am a person who stresses too much to a point where my bowel movements liquefy on their own accord. Obviously i might have eaten something funny the day before but likely not. I am a good girl who eats her vegetables. (How does diarrhea even come about? probably not from lack of vegetables) .

I apologize for this explicit post. Not really. Diarrhea is a part of human life and we all must deal with it at some point. Stop giggling you.

Quote of the day

On physics meltdowns:

Justin: Just relax and do the right hand rule, even if it has nothing to do with the problem....i like the hand motions

Competent?

When I went to take a shower today i realized i had been wearing my underwear inside out all day.

I cannot wait until summer time. True it's a little sad that year one of my college experience is almost over. I'm not TOO depressed though. It's not like I'll never see the people here again and of course the school itself will always be here unless it somehow happens to be in the path of some freak future natural disaster. For a while i feared i would have nothing to do this summer. In mid-April I was caught in a limbo when trying to decide whether or not i should take summer school. Recently i surpassed the "maybe i should take summer school" stage to the "perhaps i will take summer school" stage. However to my surprise/intrigue i discovered enrollment for most classes had closed already. I figured this was probably not meant to be a very productive summer.

Then i was made a very unexpected offer by my mothers friend who happens to be the mother of my friend (notice the cool play on words). I accepted with a long and dull summer ahead of me in mind and i am now hired as George and his sister's math tutor.

I'm not so sure this was a smart decision my mother's friend's part. Although i am a math major and love math (sometimes) i do not feel qualified/competent enough for this job. Was it a smart decision to place the math minds of two innocent (maybe not so innocent in George's case) children into my hands, let alone pay me for it? I think not.

But we will see....Meanwhile i must find another job to occupy myself with for the remaining 5 days in the week and hope that SOMEONE who is not my mother or my mother's friend will hire me.

Pointless

I usually sit at the same seat in econ lecture. First row second seat from the center block of chairs. Since most people are a slave to routine, the person sitting next to me is usually the same girl. Very early on in quarter i realized something strange about her arms but i couldn't quite pinpoint what is was. Due to pure coincidence my arm brushed up against hers one day and i finally discovered what was so different about HER arms compared to everyone else. You see, when my arm brushed against her, i noticed they were unusually smooth and upon closer observation i discovered she had no hair on her arms. I spent the remaining time in lecture thinking of all the possible ways this could be so. A few include shaving, waxing, disease, naturally hairless....

this is not a very interesting topic.

An Ecosystem of Rare Breeds

My linear algebra class is a thriving habitat home to numerous varieties of rare species.

Smartius-Professorius: This rare breed as some may describe it is the "leader of the pack." It's duty is to lead this community into the enlightenment with its amazing alpha-like characteristics.

Hairless-Teacherous -Assisstius: This animal is the beta to the omniscience Smartius-Professorius. It displays similiar enlightening powers but none as mighty or powerful as the one born with true alpha qualities. This animal's most distinguishing trademark is its lack of hair. Fun Fact: Will remind one of a "naked mole rat"

Deceptive-Uglyus: Watch out for this animal as its looks and distinctive guttural noises will distract you from your train of thought. It is known for it's random grunting that consistently throws Smartius Professorius off guard. Once the element of distraction is achieved, it will then pounce and attack with forcible questions and hard stares the latter of which will make the prey squeamish. In this community there exists two Deceptive Uglyus' who combined make a deadly pair. Beware of its pretty hair that serves as bait and attracts bamboozled victims from behind

Vexatious-Sniffulous: The most lively and abundant species of them all. Vexatious sniffulous will make your eyes widen (with fury, shock and disbelief) as they combined can and will sniff up to about an average of 11 sniffs per minute! Their most amazing trait is that as some kind of built in defense mechanism, this species will increase their rate of sniffing with every glare that is thrown at them.

Incubus-of-Viral-Plague-I-Hate-Her-ius. This species belongs under the vexatious-sniffulous family. It arrives 5-10 minutes late to the community every morning and chooses to sit near you trapping you with every last germ that flows from the pores of its head. There is no escape. (Today Incubus-of-Viral-Plague-I-Hate-Her-ius sat behind me and i think i actually saw a booger fly out of her nose. For the remainder of the day i feared that the booger had somehow landed on the back of my cardigan and i was consequently walking around like a moron while passerby gawked and pointed in disgust.)

Snorlax Doldrumius: Quite the opposite of Vexatious Sniffulous, Snorlax Doldrumius' arrives to the community early and dozes off to the sound of Smartius Proffessorius's all powerful hypnotic voice to which they are most susceptible. To them the world exists in shades of black, gray and white.

Smokey Lung Cancerous: Do not be fooled by their talkative nature. This creature secretly has many problems and manifests them all through their smoking addiction. Their faces feature a look of permanent emptiness and are just downright depressing.

Turbo-Shut-the-Hell-up-ius: The sound of this animals voice is itself a deadly weapon. Every word it utters sounds like a plead or whine. very very Irritating. It's voice is everywhere you go and haunts you in your sleep. Sometimes it is like a buzz in your ear, one you can get use to. But when this animal is confused or being extra stupid, it will project its voice to an alarming volume with much energy and kill all of those who are in the vicinity. In the community, other species refer to her as Turbo because she can notoriously chug through gallons and gallons of mucus during every congregation of this habitat (these last 50 minutes). This is achieved through never ever halting chatter.

What am i?

I am Neck Snap Turnius: Similarly to Vexatious-Sniffulous, I can turn my head to stare at the clock at an alarming rate of 11 turns per minute. We are an an endangered species as increasingly more and more of my kind mysteriously cease to show up as time progresses.

I must put forth my best efforts to continue showing up to these daily congregations as the absence of one species will surly be the the tipping point of our harmonious existence.

However, i also fear that if i do continue showing up to these daily congregations i will cave in and go permanently insane which will also in turn become the death of us all.

Brain Theory Proof:

Math is all about proofs.

Proof:

Today i wrote in my journal for the first time in a long time. As i began the entry i recorded the date:

4/26/07

5 minutes ago i was trying to remember how old i was.... 19? 20? 17? surly not 18.

Obsessions

After lunch today, as i walked back into the deepest/hairiest armpit (i describe it like this because it's so darn far!) of middle earth, i overheard a conversation shared between two middle-aged men. Man number one said "oh i made a facebook today! it was great seeing how some of the members from my class in college are." Man number two nodded in puzzled interest over the existence of such a bizarre online community. Ack. Facebook stalking at it's finest. Here is proof that online stalking is an inherented part of human nature. On a slightly different note, i was surprised to hear the satement "i made a facebook today." I guess facebook has been so ingrained into my daily life that i temporarily forgot that we weren't all just born with one.

I'm super excited about Harry Potter 6 coming out in theatres. The latest trailer looks pretty freaking amazing actually. Maybe this movie will scratch the surface of just how brilliant the books are. The other movies did the books no justice.

SPEAKING of books, i recently discovered that the final book to one of my favorite series was released April 14th. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! i havnt read the second to last or BOUGHT the third to last in the series yet. Anyways let me tell you a little about this series and why you should read it. here is my review:

Megan McCafferty, author of the Jessica Darling series, is truly genius in the way she brings her readers from a cult of domestcity suburbia to a hip and upscale ever-rising metropolis city through the eyes of a spunky yet cynical, smart yet insecure girl whose last name is as sweet as the complete opposite of her perspective on life in general. If you like a girl who is not afriad to tell it as it is, Jessica Darling is your perfect soul mate. She reflects several things I'm not but aspire to be.

Read it.

I guess i have a mission now (:

Oops!

Mum: Are you having midterm very soon

Me: yup

Mum:When

Me: econ this thrusday

Me:next friday i have two maths

Mum: together

Me: yup

Mum: oopps

Me: haha

Rape and Elephants

On what should be done if one was raped by a friend:

Me: I would be really pissed and unfriend them
David: OMG you're so easy. If i were you i would get close to them and cut off their balls and then leave them alive to suffer with no dick.

So dont even try to rape me.

-------------

Some people may wonder why i love elephants so much. I have no idea why i possess this certain affinity towards those huge creatures. Perhaps it is because i owned a elephant stuffed animal when i as younger and it was the only one that didn't let me down. For example:

-barbie snow white: Of all my barbie dolls i use to (still) own, snow white was my favorite. I would comb her hair dress her up and even take baths with her. During one of these routine baths we had together, barbie snow white's head came off with an unceremonious pop. Needless to say, it has never been the same for me with barbies again.

-peebaby: Before my barbie stage i had an unhealthy obsession with dolls. I was inseparable with one in particular. She was blond, plastic and about the size of a football. Her most distinguishing trait was that she could pee. yes, pee. I don't know if the fact that she was white and behaved disturbingly similarly to a real baby was the manufacturer's idea of a funny joke on the parents with the obsessed child or the government's method of preconditioning its buyer to grow up to be the stereotypically American housewife, but in retrospect that was a very disturbing doll. Thankfully i grew out of that horrendous stage of needing to "pee" my "baby" every 30 minutes and moved on on greater things. I will not have my own children attatched to such a freaky toy....but then again maybe that's what my mother said.

-Mr. Bun Bun: This is perhaps the strangest attachment i have ever had. I never really LIKED Mr. Bun Bun, my blue stuffed Easter rabbit. In fact, his face is one of permanent sadness with big brown eyes depressing anyone/everyone who happened to steal a glance at him. However, i never slept without it, along with my body pillow. Fortunately i manage to ditch Mr. Bun Bun. His melancholy eyes will never forgive me. But, the body pillow still remains an important object that allows me to fall asleep and no so luckily for me, college has shown the world just this.

So the elephant stuffed animal i owned was probably the coolest toy i had. The ears make a sqeaky noise, it has a rattler on the tip of its nose and mirrors under its feet. It entertained me for hours on end. I remember it use to be enormous and now that i think about it, i did suffer small disappointment when i found it again a few years later and discovered that i had shrunk. Obviously it didnt shrink, i had simply grown. How sad.

I remember the same thing happened with Disneyland. It was the most magical place when i was about 6 or 7. But i recall that i hadnt visited disneyland until highschool again and there was nothing to bridge the gap inbetween. Disneyland was no longer magical.

BUT NOT MY ELEPHANT!! of course the name of my elephant is Ella Phant. I beleive i stole the name from somewhere, most likely a Junie B. Jones book.

ANYWAYS....this is such a pointless blog.

Davido believes that i love elephants for quite a different reason and has decided to express his opinions here:


**THEREOM!!!! >>>HUGE CREATURE LOVES HUGE CREATURE!<<< TRUE OR FALSE?***

a brief translation: he thinks i am an elephant. or at least elephant sized ):

Dreams

Last night i dreamed a very odd dream. In it i was pregnant and was somehow carrying my belly around in my arms. My "belly" with the fetus in it was attached to my "stomach" by a very thin flesh piece of string. I woke up in a very confused state and decided to get to the bottom of what this dream meant.

After googleing "dream interpretations" and entering in the word "pregnant" i found one possible explanation for my dream:

Pregnant
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it.� This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.


Interesting.

I decided that this was not quite representative of my life except for perhaps my taking up of a hip hop class this quarter so i searched more words including stomach and abdomen:

Stomach
To see your own stomach in your dream, suggests the beginning of new changes in your life. It may refer to your difficulties with accepting these changes. It is also indicative of how you can no longer tolerate or put up with a particular situation, relationship, or person. The stomach may also be seen as the center of emotions.

Abdomen
To see your abdomen in a dream, refers to your natural instincts and repressed emotions. There is something in your real life that you "cannot stomach" or have difficulties accepting. You need to get it out of your system. Alternatively, the abdomen may be strictly physiological and you may just be experiencing constipation or indigestion.

To dream that you abdomen is exposed, signifies trust and vulnerability. You may be expressing a desire to express your primal emotions/instincts.

To dream that your abdomen is swollen, indicates that some new project is in the works.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ahhh i found the constipation part particularly funny.

Anyways, what my dreams mean may never be clear but i suppose i'll have to let it go for the time being.



---edit---

on kiwi birds...

albert: Look! they have no arms! That's sooooo cute!

HAHAHAHHA

The Brain Theory

I have a theory.

Since birth an important section of my brain was missing and it it has prevented me from performing critical thought processes. I have concluded that there are two possible ways this could have happen:

1.)My parentals signed a contract when i was born selling my baby body/brain in the name of science to the doctors who birthed me in hopes that one day my achievements or lack thereof will somehow be the cause of great celebration because it would lead to the result of some scientific breakthrough that would validate the existence of this mediocre humanity. How this will happen i do not know for i do not possess the brain capacity. But i believe that even as i write this, scientists are fiddling with that small part of my brain in some laboratory and creating an army of genetically engineered mutant me's while the remains of that brain part (me) sits here rotting away like a vegetable.

2.) I was simply and unfortunatly born this way: with three quarters of a brain and it has remained so. My parents were too ashamed and sad and decided against informing me about this small ordeal. They figured it was for the best and hoped that i could live a normal, content life without realizing anything. It is with deepest regrets that i (might have) somehow discovered this inconvenient truth.

Amazingly, I am deciding to accept this.

Today i was talking about this troubling situation to the one person who amazingly has MORE brain than is possible and who amazingly doesnt make me feel like there was a possibility my brain cells were transferred into his skull 18 years ago: Darius

v: i think by age 30

v: i will become a vegetable

v: ):

d: gosh

d: no you wont

v: ):

v: ur girlfriend is in the process of becoming a vegetable

v: how do you feel about that
v: ?

d: shes jujst

d: in a bad mood

d: eveyone thinkgs

d: they

d: are lacking some though process

v: brain dead

d: you arent going to be brain dead

ahhh....this makes me feel better already (:

Business

First order of business:

There is a pimple on my face. However i am convinced that it is not actually a pimple but perhaps a tumor.

Second order of business:

I wish to drop out of college and work at Starbucks for the the rest of my life. This Starbucks will preferably be located in Antarctica or somewhere where there is no possibility of seeing my last quarter math professors face.

This is assuming Starbucks will hire my lame ass.

Week 10

Somehow, i feel like in all my classes, im in that state where i feel like i CAN achieve what i want (which is an A) but somehow feel like im barely going to accomplish my goals. Somehow i feel like im going to screw myself over.

So that little miracle i asked for in the beginning of the week hasn't happened yet. The closest i came to dying was yesterday when i tripped while going down the stairs. But hey....that's nothing new.

Anyways, it's too late now. I've already completed the death essay due one friday. It came out to be a grand total of 8 and a half pages not including the works cited. Writing was canceled today and i ditched math leaving me with only one 8'0 clock class which was physics. I spent the remainder of the day cranking out this essay on a topic i am sad to say will probably never receive this amount of attention ever again.

Currently i am suffering from a chronic migraine that has presented itself several times recently. I am just WAITING for my new glasses to come in. In the mean time, i must endure these head splitting aches in my brain and hope for the life of me that nothing will explode and ooze out of my ears catching me unawares.

Right now i am not completely coherent as it is 2 am. For the past week i have not gone to sleep before 3 am. I think today will break my longest streak of abnormal sleeping pattern yet. i find this oddly satisfying.


One more thing: i tried giving up caffeine for lent this year. Ive attempted this before with better results...oh how i've already failed. miserably. Good thing I'm not Catholic i suppose. ):

"God Help Us All'

Yesterday i received a very upsetting email from my writing teacher telling me that i had written my essay wrong and that i would have to rewrite all of it if i wanted to pass the class. I responded with a note of panic and she replied telling me to calm the crap down. I DO have a week but, rewriting a 7-8 page essay is not a very exciting prospect especially since i had already written 6 pages of it.

I'm contemplating all the ways i could possibly die this week, exempting me from writing this horrendous essay as well as avoiding all upcoming finals. Perhaps i will be crushed by the brute force of an oncoming and unawares truck. Perhaps i will be electrocuted when attempting to plug in my labtop. Perhaps space monkeys will fly out of my butt and attack me until i am an unrecognizable bloody pulp on the ground. Or perhaps i will be vaporized by the thought police.

What I'm trying to say is that i hope some kind of miraculous event will save me from having to exert even the slightest amount of effort on this essay i am very unwilling but likely to rewrite.

Who will offer me this kind of salvation? Who will do their good friend Vicky a generous favor and save her from this act of torture imposed on her by an evil writing 39c class?

WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN?!?!?

TTDICWUB

#9) vickyoga

A Turn of Events

This afternoon i visited my math professor during his office hours. Prior to this little confrontation i ditched his class for the third time today. This was also the third time i had EVER ditched class. The first time i went on a little Chipotle/Spectrum extravaganza with none other than Monica, her roommate (our driver) and Anthea. The second time along with this time, i refused to leave my bed. Yes, the class is at one but please be reminded i have 8'oclock classes everyday. (It's amazing that i havn't missed a single one of those.)

The purpose of today's visit was so that i could retrieve my midterm. Incidentally, the day he handed them back was the day i took that Chipotle/Spectrum trip. It was an unpleasant trip as i tried to argue 4 points he took off my midterm, the 4 points that prevented me from acheiving a perfect score. My arguement:

-i got the answer right
-i did what the question asked
-nothing i did was wrong.

He replied with something along the lines of "well you only used *elementary row operations once and everyone else didnt really show that they knew how to do it...so....i dunno"

Let me tell you something about my professor. He is small, Italian, incredibly difficult to understand, and did i say small? His handwriting is also illegible. My professor reminds me of a cross between a hobbit, mario and harry potter. (I'm the only one who agrees with Harry Potter so for a fairer description perhaps the latter should be ignored.) When he gets mad in class from questions asked by unnamed indolent idiots in my class, he becomes even more incomprehensible and enjoys throwing his hands up in frustration. Also, his italian accent becomes even more pronounced as ever. When he lectures he likes to say "i dunno" a lot.

I think he hates me. I did not get back those four points i know i rightfully deserved. Perhaps if he took off one or two points, i wouldnt make as huge of a deal out of it, but this was four points. Four points off of a problem i did correctly as well as got the correct answer.

A tad bit mad was I.

To cheer myself up i deicided to get some yogurt. I arrived at Yogurtland only to discover that i had forgotten my wallet, leaving me in a sadder state than i was in before. On my walk back, out of nowhere, a tiny little boy stumbles out into the road before me. He is wearing a cap and those shoes that make a sqeaky noise every time a step is taken. This is the most adorable kid i have ever seen. Suddenly, my day is immediatly a hundred times better.



*for unsavvy math people, elementary row operations are just a way of simplifying a matrix to make solving a problem easier.

currently listening to

Akon-Im So Paid (feat. Lil Wayne & Young Jeezy) (: hehehehehehehe

Would This Make YOU Mad?

I wonder if there are things that i do that just piss other people off? To name a few possibles:

-talking to Einstein my fish and Monte my rock plant
-avoiding eye contact when walking around ring road
-making eye contact when walking about ring road
-walking along the small curb that divides the street and sidewalk and pretending as if i'm on a balance beam
-Starting with the second toe when cutting my toenails
-ballsy remarks on why certain people suck...i shall not care to elaborate
-never turning on the light on my side of the room (because i hate florescent lighting)
-peeing more than i should because of excessive caffeine consumption
-wearing socks to sleep (sometimes...and only the moose ones D gave me)
-*sliding all the way to the edge of the seat during class to avoid attention if and most likely when i fall asleep
-defaming rabbits in public and bringing out their true malicious nature.
-bursting out in random laughter when watching The Office with headphones (I'm actually pretty sure this pisses Jun off)
-singing at the top of my lungs (this too...along with the rest of my suite mates probably)
-walking in the bike lane
-staring at fellow hall members.. And then when they stare back i yell "VAT?" very loudly
-going into the downstairs kitchen and making jello...at about 3 in the morning
-making lists about things that could potentially piss people off
-**flipping out when my pillow is touched
-sleeping far too much during the day time and not enough at night (this is not my fault because i am UNABLE to effectively manage my time)
-death stares
-refusing to poop when others are around
-sudden quasi-kleptomaniac tendencies in the Pippin dining hall during special occasions (quasi because its technically not stealing...what are they going to do with them later anyways?)
-going on to decorating my side of the room with the things i technically did not steal from Pippin. the room is littered with these treasures.



*incidentally it pisses me off to a point of hysteria when people "nod" off in class. can't they be more discrete?
**well...it pisses ME off when they touch my pillow especially after i inform them that the pillows are not to be touched. Call me anal i don't care....don't touch my effing pillows (:


---edit---

ME: you think too much
ME: you are like a girl
ME: (:
JUSTIN: i definitely do
JUSTIN: and i am definitely a girl
JUSTIN: i need to find a nice lesbian women one day

HAAHHAHAHAHAHA

That's my Roomate!

Me: (trying to write my blasted paper)
Jun: (over aim she sends me pictures of Asain male stars)
Me: (i whip around) "JUN STOP LOOKING AT ASAIN MEN"
Jun: (bug-eyed) "I caaaaannnnntttt....... "

Poisoned and Accomplished

I am crazy and must be stopped at all costs.

It is currently 3:09 AM and I'm wide awake. Why? becuase I'm a complete moron of course. Yesterday night i went to bed at around 1ish? 2ish? I woke up an hour later feeling incredibly queasy. Clearly, this was a mild form of stomach flu or something. About thirty minutes later i was able to fall asleep again. Today during math i had the same queasy feeling and i was afraid i was going to throw up and embarass myself (not for the first time). Then after dinner, the food poisoning came back once more so i layed down and concentrated on not throwing up (yet again). Throughout the day i took two (approximately) 2 hour and one 15 minute nap in hopes that i would recover from lack of sleep the previous night. Feeling as if i had wasted the entire day, i downed some of Justin's espresso and now I'm wide awake feeling as giddy as ever.

Exhaustion combined with an inability to sleep is not the best feeling in the world.

I'm crazy becuase i secretly feel accomplished during the process of doing this to myself. I'm getting all this work done at the cost of stable sleeping patterns. Someone please snap me out of this state of retardation becuase i really really REALLY need to be thinking clearly by friday.

Did this post make any sense at all?

Jello Should Jell

This week Jun and I made several late night trips down to the kitchen on the first floor in attempts to make jello. The first night i made regular old peach jello.

Over the summer, at CBC's appreciation night, one particular dish that stood out to me in particular was this milk jello thing. There was a layer of regular jello stuck to a milky layer of jello. Not only did it look cool, but it also tasted amazing....No doubt it made an impression on me. So i recalled this little impression the second night and feeling more adventurous, i tried replicating that milk jello without reading instructions first. Needless to say it was disastorous.

I checked online (which was something i should've done first) to see what i did wrong and FOR FUTURE REFERENCE TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO MAKE MILK JELLO:

DO NOT USE REGULAR MILK....funny things happen.

I found out that i was suppose to use evaporated milk as opposed to normal milk. Anyways, yesterday i locked down in my room for intense studying but today i was back in the kitchen more prepared and more determined. I've finally done it though: make milk jello...

Is it depressing that i want to make/come up with the coolest looking and most heavenly tasting Jello by the end of this quarter?

goal 1: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v332/cherylsmith75/IMG_1283.jpg

TTDICWUB

#8) make jello, cook ramen, microwave hot pocket...FEAST

The Better Side of Life (:

TOTALLY STOLE THIS FROM MICHAELS FACEBOOK: it was in my minifeed and i decided what the heck? lets click on it....best decision of my life (sad i know), it completely made my day. If this doesn't put a smile on your face i dont know what will:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVblWq3tDwY

TTDICWUB

#7) watch Justin downstairs mix apple juice, sugar, and yeast in hopes that it will undergo fermentation and produce alcohol.

Today i broke Del Taco ):

In Light of Procrastination

What I really need to be doing right now, is my research proposal paper...



And what I've noticed is that after such a long time of not posting, the one thing that would actually bring me to post is procrastination. I know I'm sucky and hypocritical because I'm always the one advocating everyone ELSE to post, but hey...i do try.



Writing is definitely my hardest class right now. I really have no idea what's going on and its only my hope that everyone else feels the same. Last week I was completely set on spending the entire quarter researching cacti. This week, I've changed my topic to dragon fruit. Random I know. But like i said, i really dont know what I'm doing. It's slightly easier, but not easy enough to make me jump for joy at completing the essay i really should be working on right now.

We do "blogs" in writing. The difference between my blog in writing and this one, is that we're graded on it and are forced to write something constructive as opposed to my unintelligible rambling on this blog. I don't really consider that blog "mine" though becuase there's nothing really personal on it. Just things my teacher (hopefully) wants to hear. Not that THIS blog is THAT personal either....just things people probably WON'T want to hear, but things i wouldn't mind them hearing about. I don't think i make sense.

Our lastest blog in writing required us to try to persuade the reader to invest in a certain product. We got to choose between movies, books, shows....pretty much media stuff, stuff that would need commercials and advertisement in order to sell at all. I made up connections between a few facts that i knew behind the makings of Harry Potter and was surprised when i read some of the comments i had recieved. Apparantly i had convinced some of my fellow classmates to read Harry Potter. The first thing that ran through my head was, obviously they're just saying that becuase we're all forced to comment on two other peoples' blogs anyways. Second, I was pretty surprised that some people have not read Harry Potter. Obviously, it was really stupid of me to think that but i just have to say to those who have not experienced the Harry Potter sensation are definantly missing out.

Today I wasted a lot of time trying to write up my essay. Near 5:30ish, my aunt and uncle picked me up to take me to a Chinese new year party with the relatives. Apparantly they go every year. The one reason i knew i didn't go before was becuase of location: Irvine. But later on in the night i found a potential new reasoning behind the fact that my parentals never mentioned Chinese new year partys around Chinese new year time. The night started out slow with the arrival of neighbors and unknown family members. My aunt brought out the beer and liquor and everyone became increasingly louder. Later on, i found out that it was tradition that every one with any musical knowledge was required to perform something in front of everyone. SOMEHOW, everyone knew i played cello and piano and SOMEHOW, a neighbor happened to have a cello equipped and ready for me to play. What are the odds? There was no escape and i knew it when i cowered at all the glowing red faces staring back at me insisting while i persisted. i havn't even touched my own cello since the beginning of summer so i badly butchered a song out of a provided suzuki book. Never again. Five minutes later they all broke out in drunken song as the karyoke machine was switched on. There is nothing better than listening to drunk asain people sing. *enter sarcastic joke here*. I was freed about half an hour later as a cousin(?) drove me back to UCI. We spent the majority of the ride trying to figure out how if at all we were related.

Now I'm back, trying to write this freaking essay. Someone shoot me please.