Baby Steps

Mood: lost
Visit hammer museum again

Accomplished one goal on my list this week! The Hammer put on a little event for UCLA students this past tuesday and I went with my roommate not knowing what to expect.  The moment we walked in, my roommate and I spotted a DIY tile crafting station.  There we spent the majority of two hours gluing magazine clippings to an approximately 6X6in tile.  It was amazingly therapeutic and held my focus and attention for quite a long time.  I then had a chicken and waffle out of a food truck and we ended the night with a somber stroll home. Back to the real world...

The truth is, life did not become easier after PACT.  I'm finding myself increasingly anxious over job prospects. Every moment I'm not spending working on revising my resume or composing another cover letter or researching school missions and visions, is considered wasted.  In my head I keep thinking of the goals I had made for myself this quarter and now they almost seem like a chore.  There are so many moving pieces in my schedule that I can hardly remember what's going on when.  My body and brain feel like exploding every day.

Sometimes I wonder where I would be in my life had a chosen a different career path.  Where would I be? What would I have done? It wasn't until my second year at UCI when I committed my future to teaching (and in particular teaching disadvantaged urban youth.). But before then I've seriously considered the following options:

-Journalism
-Interior design
-Architect
-Fashion Directing

Interesting right? I haven't stopped thinking about them either which may explain my tastes on pinterest (har har).

I don't know, even though it's hard, I don't think I could have stayed away from teaching.  Or actually, it really isn't teaching that attracts me about this profession, it's the learning (that my students do but that I also do).  I think that knowledge (although admittedly selective at times) is so great and I can never get enough of it.  I've learned so much so far and although sometimes I just want to crawl into my bed and never get out, when I think about how much more evolved of a person I am now compared to (pick a time and date) I think: it's all worth it in the end.

At least that's what I keep telling myself...Baby steps, Ms. Lieu, baby steps.