PACT

Yesterday, I thought I was having the worst day ever. I had been working on PACT late the night before and so naturally the next day I was a zombie.  Fortunately I really only had to exert mental energy for 2nd period since period 6 was given their period to work on their projects. Even with that little responsibility, I managed to screw it up. By far, yesterday was my worst instructional day yet.  I was tired, disorganized, and  just overall not feeling it.

So yes I thought yesterday was the worst day ever, but today proved to be worse.  In general my disposition towards my students have been pretty good.  I wanted them all to achieve and their poor work ethic made me want to motivate them more.  But today, for the first time, I was legitimately angry and disappointed at two of my students.  So angry in fact, that for a moment i felt zero desire for them to succeed. I was attempting to use a common classroom strategy at the end of the period so that i could monitor and assess the students' learning. Today was the second time and it completely backfired in my face.  Anyways, without going into too much detail, they zoomed out of the classroom like the lesson was some kind of joke after being disruptive all day.

It difficult to always remember that my students from economically disadvantaged backgrounds and that their behavior is not always necessarily their fault. Of course, their maturity and self sufficiency has yet to develop since they're freshmen.  But I can't help but think of all the people who have risen above that despite the circumstances.

As I'm working on PACT, I can't help but feel a little silly about doing the work for a week of curriculum to prove that I am worthy of being a teacher.  All this ridiculous work proves nothing when faced in a live classroom.

I'm glad I have shoes to browse to get me through the day...