Counting Down

mood: blarrrrrggghhhhh

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THANKSGIVING BREAK.

I can't wait until i can see my family and hang out and gamble (thanksgiving tradition!).
I can't wait until i can inhale an entire turkey and two cans of cranberry sauce.
I can't wait to shop with my scholarship monies (that should actually be put to good use by paying housing and stuff)
I can't wait to sprawl my fat ass out on a couch and give no care in the world

and above all....

I can't wait to not be critically thinking about pedagogy and classroom management, and periodic assessments and discourse strategies.  Only a few more days......

To be honest, my program is not difficult in terms of work load. But the emotional and mental demand everyday requires is exhausting.  I can't believe I'm already 4 months into my program.  The other day I was driving back to my apartment and I actually freaked out that I was at UCLA.  The initial shock of realizing I'm a bruin still hasn't worn off.  Not even aver 4 months.

I'm delving deeper and deeper into education theories in my classes.  As this happens, the reality of what's actually happening in the field becomes more and more shocking.  Today at our professional development, I saw the dejected attitudes of the teachers whose students were behind in the curriculum (pretty much every class).  And when I saw this, I feared that in a year, that was going to be me.

Tomorrow, I have a IEP meeting for one of my students.  In the meeting, the student, the parent(s), the teacher, the IEP teacher, and an administrator will sit down and discuss the achievements, concerns and action plan for the student in question. I am nervous and dreading what will happen.  

We're speeding through the material trying to catch up to what the standards demand and I'm trying to turn a blind eye to the fact that a little over half of my students are failing.  This really really sucks.  But according to my mentor, this is also the norm.