no zzz's for me

I am awake at this deathly hour because, once again, i cannot sleep.

I'd like to blame my insomnia on stress but stress is such a tireing excuse lately. Whos not stressed? Please come forth and allow me to stick a shiny badge one your forehead because you certainly deserve it. I mean, anyone who has an uncanny ability to not stress out deserves some kind of award. Frankly, I've met none.

So what is this exactly? It's not like i have right to say I'm more stressed than anyone else. Its not like im the worlds largest failure. I dont rise above or sink beneath or do anything out of the ordinary to impose pain and suffereing or predictable future destruction upon myself.

Last night, i went to bed exhausted, only to find myself still wide awake 3 hours later. The rest of the night was spent in the gray area between "fully asleep" and "not asleep at all". I then woke up at about 5 am (if you call snapping out of the gray area "waking up" at all) and laid staring up at the ceiling until my alarm clock rang about 2 hours later. It was VERY frustrating.

MAYBE, i was anticipating todays visit from darius. But honestly, i didnt think about it until second period when i was getting somewhat "high" off the fumes of that sickening ammonium. REally....that smell is SICK. bleh