Yet Again

mood: mrah

ugh ugh guhg

I feel SOOOO lazy. All I want to do is sit in front of the TV and let my brain rot away.  I had a wonderfully unproductive weekend.  Last week was incredibly long. Thursdays we have tutoring after school and they are suppose to last until 4:30.  This past Thursday, Liz (my mentor) and I didn't leave school until 5:30.  We were exhausted and spent. That night I drove straight to San Diego and left all my school thoughts behind.

I feel so alive when I'm busy.  Today when I got back to my apartment I got straight to cleaning my whole apartment.  It felt wonderful.  This weekend, I had begged and begged my parents to let me take our mini vacuum cleaner up to LA and they agreed to let me have it for the week.  Next week they will come up to whisk it away.  I also went to the gym, cut up and ate fruit and sprawled across my couch to watch my Sunday TV shows.  But the whole time I had this annoying nagging in the back of my mind.  I feel like I should be busy with school work.

 Unfortunately for me, I don't realize when i am stressed.  My only way of knowing is when my physical well being begins to deteriorate.  For example, throughout my second year and third year of undergrad, I kept getting sick with all sorts of things.  My doctor must've been sick of seeing me.  (I actually am really curious to know what my doctors think every time they see me. "oh this girl again") I had migraines, dizzy spells, flu, stomach indigestion, and oh yes...an irregular period.  I remember going months and months without any sign of red on my underpants.  I think I went 4 months without it once.  Yikes! I also had that weird episode of breaking out in hives around my joints.  Hives on my elbows, hives on my knuckles, hives on my knees.  Thank God that's over.

All of last year, I ate well, I didn't get sick that often, and twice I even correctly predicted the exact day my period was going to come (something I had never done or been able to do before).  My body had finally caught up to me.  And then I started school again.  No matter how hard I tried to eat right and get enough sleep, the unmistakable signs of stress had taken its toll on my body once again.  I caught bronchitis somehow that rendered me incapable of speaking.  And then this past week I caught some nasty virus that brought back the coughing. On top of that, I had a migraine last week, something I haven't had since 2 years ago.  And yes, werido period.  It never ends ):

Whenever Darius spent the weekend, I had complained over and over that I felt nauseous or bloated.  Either out of annoyance or genuine worry, he told me to tell the doc that I had been having stomach problems.  So two days ago, I went to see the doc (yet again) with little hope that the doc would have anything helpful to say.  Unsurprisingly, the doctor said that all my problems stemmed from stress, patted me on the back, told me to calm down, prescribed an over the counter drug and sent me along my way.  Another 20 dollar co-pay down the drain.  phooey.

Anyways, I have come to realize how important and precious my weekends are...The week is usually not too horrible but Sunday nights for me are usually spent watching TV and dreading the week to come.